Enid’s Interview

“Your name, please?”

“Enid, sir. Enid Poole.”

“Where have you come from?”

“Lincoln, sir.”

“And you are interested in the role of–”

“Housekeeper, sir. What looks after the gentlemen.”

“Your qualifications?”

“Well, sir, I work hard and I know how to run a house from bottom to top. Floors and windows, woodwork, wallpapers, making the beds and doing the grates and stoves, caring for carpets and curtains, washing china and crystal and glass, polishing both wood and silver, mending and darning, plain and fancy sewing, plain and fancy cooking, waiting at table, carving, marketing, care of lamps and candles–”

“Ah, yes, my goodness, that’s quite a resumé–”

“Simple electrics, light carpentry–”

“Well, now–”

“Calligraphy, phrenology, homeopathy and massage, reading aloud, and attendance at sickbeds up to and including preparing the dead for burial.”

“Are you sure that’s all?”

“I also play the harp.”

“Is there, in fact, anything you do not do?”

“Laundry.”