Gerrald’s Audition

“Your name, please?”

“Gerrald Alonso Fishpie.”

“Fishpie?”

“Fishpie.”

“Ah. Well, then. In which role are you interested, Mr Fishpie?”

“I saw you need a best friend for the fellows–clubman, lad-about-town, useful for light comic relief or romantic subplots?”

“We do, indeed.”

“Well, I’m your man. Major scrapes and minor scandals a specialty.”

“You are aware, are you not, that the leading roles are a dog and a fox?”

“Surely do.”

“And this does, as a hare, in any way alarm you?”

“No, see, I was brought up different. We had all kinds in our house. Mixed schooling and whatnot. One of my sisters married a Boston terrier. It’s a new world, you know.”

“Excellent.”

“Also, I am willing to do nude scenes if required.”

“Ah.”

“Make sure you write that down. Will do nude scenes.”

“We had rather gathered that when you arrived at this audition naked.”

“Well, it is spring. And I am a hare.”

“Noted.”

“Shall I present my monologue now?”