Auld Acquaintance

"Good evening, dear sister," says Mrs Puddle.

"Good evening, Maud dear," says Miss Pond. "Anything of note in the evening post?"

"As a matter of fact we've a lovely card from Jemima," says Mrs Puddle.

"How useful," says Miss Pond. "The fire is just beginning to die down."

"Josephine!" says Mrs Puddle, appalled.

"You know perfectly well I cannot abide her," says Miss Pond. "Not since she's gone to work for that Potter woman."

"Everyone must earn a living," says Mrs Puddle gently.

"She has abandoned her dignity," hisses Miss Pond, "to become nothing more than a shill for Big Cute."

"She says we're welcome to the villa in Deauville any time," says Mrs Puddle, "now that Harrods have delivered the suite of furniture for around the new swimming pool."

"Big of her," says Miss Pond.

"The swimming pool is shaped like her face!" says Mrs Puddle. "Can you imagine?"

"You're putting me off my crusts, Maud."

"Look, she's enclosed a photo of herself taken at Monte Carlo in June," says Mrs Puddle. "Is that...oh my, word. The Queen AND Alice Roosevelt?"

"Did we send her a card?" says Miss Pond.

"I did," says Mrs Puddle. "But only a tuppenny one, with dancing rabbits on. I explained that we've had to economize this year since you accidentally ran down a policeman with your scooter after the elastic in your orthopaedic support hose came loose and wrapped around the back wheel and we're still paying down the court fines."

"Ah," says Miss Pond. "Splendid. Very good. So economical. And yet so candid."

"I had to write ever so small," says Mrs Puddle.